The dance of snowflakes

The dance of snowflakes around me,
Flakes softly stuck to the windows above
As I wandered through the plants and orchids.

I took in the fragrance of vanilla,
Enjoyed the beauty I was encased in.
All the while tap, tap, tap went the snowflakes
On the glass.
As if to say, come outside.

Leaving the cocoon of the greenhouse
I was slowly blanketed by the snow,
Silent. Calm.
From a distance, others hurried about.
But I was in a secret, quiet dialogue
With the snow and the trees.

I walked solo around the grounds,
Only accompanied by the trees
—Who were also witness to the snow—
And the crunch, crunch of snow underfoot.

Too soon the moment passed.
And I was back in reality
And among others.

Movie review: Walking Out (2017)

Walking Out seemed like worlds away for me. I have no experience with hunting or the sparseness of the Montana wilderness or father-son relationships. In many respects, I was an outsider looking in, trying to match sense of the world that I found myself observing.

David, a fourteen-year-old boy, had flown in to visit his father who lives in a remote area in Montana. He didn’t seem nearly as out-of-place in this world as I but it definitely wasn’t the world that he typically inhabits. Every year he flies in from Texas to spend time with his dad. He seems comfortable enough with guns and hunting, though it doesn’t really seem to be his cup of tea. He tries to make his father happy as his father tries to impart hunting and wilderness words of wisdom to him.

As often seems to be the case in movies, one decision alters their lives. Parking the jeep at a junction, David speaks up about not wanting to embark on the hunting trip they are about to do. They need to hike several miles to get to a small hut that has just enough room to lie down and sleep in. Then they will hike further up the mountains to hunt a moose that Cal, the father, has been tracking for two weeks. He has saved this moose for David—his kill to make. Cal mentions that he too hunted with his father at age fourteen to bag his first moose. Now it is David’s turn.

As the movie unfolds, David draws out the story of his father’s first moose kill. It is not what we were led to believe. Hunting with his father, which we see in flashbacks, was not the idyllic experience it was first presented as. There are certain rules to hunting and respecting nature that young Cal violated. This first moose kill was the last time he hunted with his father. And the hunt ended with no bagged moose.

Spoiler alert: David doesn’t bag his own moose on this trip. Chances are that he never will. And like his own father, this was the last hunt that father and son shared.

The movie takes a dramatic turn. The story morphs from a hunting outing where father tries to impart knowledge about the outdoors to his son into an outing of survival. David has to put into practice everything his father has tried to teach him. He succeeds in some and not others.

Walking Out is really about father-son relationships, the difficulties in communication and the ways that love is expressed between fathers and sons. The movie shows lots of harsh moments and judgments but also some moments of tenderness.

I was surprised that the movie didn’t end neat and tidy—I am too accustomed to movies tying up loose ends. But Walking Out left me with a feeling of realism. Lives are not neat and tidy and things do not always end the way one hopes.

Movie review: Jane (2017)

So you think you know all about Jane Goodall? Maybe. Maybe not. This documentary uses 100 hours of newly discovered film shot from Jane’s early days studying chimpanzees in Gombe. The film was shot by Hugo van Lawick in the 1960s. Hugo would go on to become Jane’s husband. It is interspersed with more modern film and an interview with Jane herself.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

In 1957, Dr. Louis Leakey thought that the study of chimpanzees could teach us about early man. He was looking for someone not tainted by thinking in the scientific community. He needed someone with an open mind, a love of animals, and a passion for knowledge. Jane had grown up dreaming of living in Africa among animals. She unfortunately was unable to attend university so she had no training and no degree. It was a perfect pairing.

Jane left on a six-month study of chimpanzees in Gombe. She found chimpanzees and tried to get close to them. The first five months went nowhere. At six months, the funding would run out. Thankfully she experienced a break through with the chimpanzees during the last months. The chimpanzees accepted her. Her study and observations went into high gear…and more funding followed.

This was the 1960s though. And she was a young twenty-something. A woman by herself in the wild just would not do. So her mom went with her. Yes, her mom. Her mom seems to be something of an independent woman (where else would Jane have gotten her independence?) who strongly supported and encouraged her daughter. She opened a clinic and provided medicine to African fishermen while Jane conducted her study of the chimpanzees.

Jane’s observation of the chimpanzee stood a lot of assumptions on their head. She countered the beliefs that only humans were rational, only humans had minds, only humans used tools. She disproved all of these and was attacked for it. After she observed chimpanzees fashioning tools to reach termites in order to eat them—and passing this tool-making knowledge on to other chimpanzees—a photographer was sent to capture the chimpanzees and Jane.

At first annoyed that her solitude was disturbed, Jane later found that she and Hugo (the cameraman) seemed to be two peas in a pod. After his assignment ended and he went elsewhere, he proposed and Jane accepted. Jane never dreamt of marriage, but there she was getting married. She never dreamt of having children, but there she was having a child.

Marriage and motherhood threw her a curveball. Reflecting the times, wives and mothers took second tier to their husbands’ careers. Jane was no exception. She took what turned out to be a hiatus from studying chimps to go to the Serengeti with Hugo. She wrote books and he filmed. Later she raised her son in Africa until he was school-age and then sent him to England to live with her mother while he attended school.

Although disruptive to her career, motherhood for Jane was informed by her earlier observations of an infant-mother relationship (the chimpanzees Flo and Flint). In turn, her own motherhood informed her observations of the chimpanzees.

The film shows fun times with chimpanzees. The observers became close to the chimps, touching and even grooming them. Later though this community of chimpanzees suffered a polio epidemic. It was excruciating to hear about and witness—I cannot imagine the pain that Jane might have felt as she watched what happened to the chimpanzees that she had grown to known quite well.

Some of the chimpanzees suffered paralyzed limbs. Others were not affected. One in particular was euthanized to end his suffering. This was a case of the human observer interfering in the so-called normal course of nature. But Jane could not watch a chimpanzee basically die through starvation because he could not move to feed or care for himself.

The film portrays other emotional moments with the tribe. When Flo, the elder female chimpanzee whom Jane had observed over the years, died, her teenage son Flint was so distraught. He stopped eating and within 3 weeks died himself. Heartbreak seems to not just be a human trait.

Flo’s death had other consequences that deeply affected the tribe. Some split into a separate tribe and moved south. They became strangers to the original tribe. The result? When the groups interacted again, there was warfare. The southern group was obliterated. Suddenly another assumption was destroyed: chimpanzees are not the mostly docile bunch Jane and others thought they were. (Granted, she recognized that they killed other primate babies…which was a consideration when raising her own son in Africa).

Jane helped me understand more fully Goodall’s life and the important observations that she made that contributed to our understanding about ourselves and mankind. Jane never stopped doing the work that Dr. Leakey first set out to do: study chimpanzees to better understand early man. Her observations debunked so many erroneous ideas (only humans are rational, have minds, use tools, conduct warfare) and led to better understandings of ourselves (mother-infant relationships).

In many ways, Jane is a role model, a woman who lived her dreams. She tried to combined career, marriage, and motherhood, but her life again reveals how hard that is—she had to put her own research on hold and the marriage ultimately ended. Her life story is both the sad reflection of the societal limitations on women and the ways that women can and cannot overcome them.