Memories of the future crowd in
The presence is a pale remembrance of what is to come.
I live in what will come
Instead of what is.
What does it all mean—
The past rewritten,
The future what could have been.
“The future came and went in the mildly discouraging way that futures do.” ~ Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
Futures seem so promising. Until, sometimes, they arrive. It must be the anticipation. The projection of what may be that tantalizes. And then disappoints when the reality doesn’t match the expectation. As I was told once by a Father/Zen Roshi, “It will not be what you expect.”
I think he was referring specifically to the silent meditation retreat I was beginning, but I find that I hear him say these words as I go about my life and find myself temporarily disappointed. The words remind me to put my expectations in perspective. And remove a bit of the sting of disappointment in the future as it becomes the present.